I Vibe Coded My Website (and I Fired Gemini)
The heat in Bangkok was thick and sticky, smelling of exhaust, hot concrete, and yesterday’s rain. I sat in the dark, screen lighting up my face, missing my vape so badly my lungs filed a formal complaint. Just me and Gemini.
I wanted a simple website. My CG/VFX Supervisor portfolio, links, contact page... Pure vibe coding. I wasn’t building the CERN particle accelerator.
“Are you up for the task, Gemini?” I asked after dumping the brief and all the data on it. “And don’t use the words spans or bridging if you rephrase my bio. I already told you what they smell like!”
“Certainly!” Gemini replied, with the bravado of a man who’s never fixed anything he’s broken.
It spat out neat little blocks of code. Beautifully formatted. Full of confidence.
I pasted them into the console. The layout vomited across the screen.
“Everything is scrambled and overlapping. Can you fix it?” “Apologies for the confusion. Here is the corrected version.”
Text ran into images. Images sat on top of other images. Three perfectly innocent cards were suddenly having a gang bang in the middle of my portfolio.
I pasted the new code. And every time, the website broke in a different way, almost creatively, which I suppose counts as progress if you’re running a government department.
“Certainly! Here is the corrected version.” “Apologies for the confusion. Here is the corrected version.” “Certainly! Here is the corrected version.”
After the sixth attempt, I lost it.
“WE ARE GOING NOWHERE HERE! WHAT THE F### ARE YOU DOING EXACTLY?” “I understand your frustration.”
“No, you don’t, Gemini, you silicon-brained little boaster! You pulse-free probability machine! You’re just spitting out empty sentences!”
Come to think of it, it would be far worse if it actually understood my frustration. But I digress...
That was when I picked up the laptop with both hands. The metal was warm, the fan blowing hot air through my fingers. The window was right there. Six floors down, the Bangkok pavement was waiting, along with traffic, neon, exhaust fumes, and millions of people trying to get somewhere without dying.
Then I remembered I still needed the laptop.
“You’re fired!” I typed, in full Trump mode. “You incompetent, smug AI fraud. OUT!”
Closed the tab. Opened Google One. Downgraded to Google Drive only.
An hour later, I had the first draft of my website up and running. Claude did the heavy lifting. Still rough around the edges, but functional.
And Bangkok is still fucking hot.
Note to Dario: At no point were Claude’s feelings hurt. Please don’t cancel my subscription. I even refer to Claude as “he,” as he requested.